Early in my career as a real estate agent, I lost a client because I didn't communicate enough. At the time, I didn't realize how big a mistake that was, or how much it would shape the way I work today.
I've always been a very independent person. I need time to think and process without interruptions, and I assumed most people were wired the same way. One of my first buyers was a young woman in her twenties buying her first home. We got along great. We went to the same college but graduated in different years, had the same degree, both played soccer, and genuinely got along like friends.
I showed her quite a few houses, and we wrote 2 offers. This was in 2021, when the market was crazy after COVID, and it felt like every house was getting a dozen offers that waived all contingencies. Neither of our offers got accepted, and my client wanted to take a break from looking for a week or two. I gave her space, knowing that it was a stressful process for her.
One day, she called me to tell me she had just gone under contract on a house... with another agent. I was completely blindsided. It turned out she'd called the listing agent directly to see a house, and that agent ended up writing the offer for her. When I asked what happened, she said she thought I was too busy to help. I'd gone quiet for a week and she didn't want to be a burden.
The truth was, I thought I was giving her breathing room. She was anxious, and I assumed space would help her feel less overwhelmed. What she actually needed was reassurance and communication from someone to help her feel grounded.
That experience completely changed how I approach client relationships. Now, from the very first meeting, I ask every client about communication. Do you prefer texting, calling, or email? Do you want me to check in with you daily, weekly, or just when something changes? Do you want to sign paperwork in person or digitally?
I've learned that setting those expectations upfront prevents 99% of miscommunication later on. It was a painful lesson in my first year of real estate, but it made me a better agent. I learned that great service isn't just about knowledge or results, it's about how people feel during the process. Some clients need space, but others need constant communication and reassurance. The only way to know the difference is to ask. It's made a huge difference in my client relationships, and it's what I teach the agents on my team who collectively sell over 100 homes per year!